It was the summer of 1981 and as an immature eight-year-old
I had been taken in by the opulent splendour of the royal wedding of Prince
Charles and Lady Diana.
It was the only time I can remember our family getting up
really early in the morning to watch an historical event unfold on our old
second hand colour TV. I was awed by all of it. For days and weeks afterwards I
dreamt and imagined what it would be like to ride in those carriages or live in
those castles. I clipped the pictures from magazines and newspapers and
imagined myself to be a member of the royal family. Every commemorative item I
could find became a part of my ever growing collection of royal wedding
memorabilia.
So it should not have been a surprise when I saw a ripped
open box of commemorative match books in the local grocery store that I needed
to have one.
I looked around, careful to make sure I was the only one in
the aisle. And once I was sure no one could see me, I snatched up one of those
finely decorated packs of matches and darted off, leaving the scene of my crime
behind me.
I was barely out of the store with that stolen pack of
matches when the reality of my crime began to sink into my eight-year-old mind.
I knew what I had done was wrong. I hadn’t asked for the matches. I definitely
hadn’t paid for them, even though the coins of my allowance were jingling in my
pocket.
Taking that pack of matches home was even worse.
It was as though, one by one, each match was being lit and
searing the pain of guilt on my conscience. At home I knew I couldn’t display
the matches – what if my parents found them? So I concealed the spoils of my
crime in a Lego house on top of my dresser. But even with the matches and the
reality of my crime safely hidden away, a part of me was hoping someone would
find those matches. I didn’t sleep well that night, nor the next. The flames of
those matches burned ever brighter in my conscience – I knew I needed to
confess, but I also wanted those matches.
The Psalmist writes in Psalm 32…
3 When
I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
The stubborn silence of unacknowledged sin is a burden the
Psalmist understood. We don’t know the nature of the sin or the ensuing
suffering that brought on these words of confession. But we do learn a very important
lesson in this Psalm of confession. There is an indivisible unity between our
true confession and the complete forgiveness of God.
But what is a true confession?
What makes it true?
What makes it real?
The Psalmist offers a dialogue of confession…
3 When
I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
In the course of this confession the Psalmist contrasts “I kept silent” in v.3 with “I said” in v.5.
When you and I have wronged someone with whom we have a
relationship...
Be that our parents, a spouse, a friend, even God…
And when we refuse to acknowledge the wrong by keeping
silent…
Our silence only harms and even diminishes the value of that
relationship. The Psalmist exemplifies our need to break our silence in a
spoken confession of sin. Confession needs to be spoken to God and when
possible our silence must be broken in the presence of the one we have wronged.
When we remain silent out of stubborn pride or for fear of being found out – as
I was with my matchbook…
It is the silence itself that can become the heavy hand of
God’s judgement.
When the silence is broken in true confession the relief of
forgiveness is the result
The Psalmist continues…
8 I
will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the Lord’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the Lord’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
A word of godly instruction to trust and to be obedient to
the Lord in the act of confession. The psalmist uses the metaphor of a horse or
mule, being controlled by the bit and bridle, to show us that true confession
is not idle words spoken without understanding or care.
True confession is an act of faith.
To confess is to proclaim in faith that I am a sinner and
God is gracious.
But there is more…
Confession without integrity is no confession at all. When
we confess only because we’ve been found out or caught in the act. When we
confess only after we have been dragged to it unwillingly like a horse or a
mule. God is not deceived by our empty words and so we shouldn’t deceive
ourselves into thinking we are forgiven. However, as the psalmist proclaims in v.1-2,
when confession is made with integrity, in a true act of faith, there is an
indivisible unity between my true confession and the complete forgiveness of
God.
After several sleepless nights, my mom found that pack of
matches through my own purposeful carelessness. When I was confronted, I
confessed willingly, feeling relieved of a tremendous burden. I expected my
punishment to be swift, but to my surprise I did not receive the spanking I was
due.
Rather mom took me back to the store…
On the way there she told me calmly and quietly why it was
wrong to steal and how much I had hurt her and dad by what I had done. Then she
opened her wallet and took out enough change to buy 10 of those match books. Giving
me the change, mom told me I needed to go into the store, confess what I had
done, and pay whatever they asked for that 1 pack of matches. As a naïve
eight-year-old I had visions of being led away in handcuffs and of being put
behind bars for good.
But my parents had already taught me such an important
lesson in forgiveness…
That I could face the consequences of my actions whatever
they might be.
This is the joyful celebration of forgiveness that the
Psalmist understands…
5 Then
I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
It’s a celebration which recognizes the painful process of
true confession.
Confession is not easy!
It can itself be a relationship straining event. But in
confession a freedom is recognized that can only come through the complete
forgiveness offered us by God. When I brought that pack of matches back into
the store. The flames of my guilt became the ashes of forgiveness.
Today is Ash
Wednesday.
Today we begin the 40-day journey of Lent that will take us
to Holy Week. A journey that will take us to Palm Sunday and the triumphal
entry of our Lord into Jerusalem.
Today we begin a journey to the cross of Calvary.
The cross on which our Saviour bled and died.
Proclaiming “It is finished” offering you and me the ashes
of forgiveness. Offering you freedom from guilt and a reply to your true
confession.
Confession isn’t easy, but the Psalmist models a way to
freedom.
Forgiven and set free, we are invited to sing together with
the psalmist…
7 You
are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Excellent story and soooo much truth!! I can definitely relate. I often wonder about our time of confession at church and how much of it is truly authentic or if it's just words that are routine every week? Does it give a false sense of security? or on the other hand maybe it's a trigger point for people to think about what's going on in their life and deal with it. That would be the best scenario.
ReplyDeleteAs for your blogging...keep it coming :)